Military Blog

Admin They Have Names Update

September 4th, 2006 by Admin

It's been a long night. I took the time to make some more calls to populate the "They Have Names" database. There are few things more difficult I've have to do in my life.

I can feel my heartbeat pounding through my fingers as I cautiously dial the phone number of a fallen hero's family. Each ring seems to pulsate through my head in slow motion. I rehearse over and over again my introduction, but it never works out. What do you say to the family of a fallen hero? "Hi, how ya doin'?" just doesn't seem to cut it. How would I be doin'? And why would I want to talk to a complete stranger who wants to drudge up memories of a love lost?

I try to put myself back in Iraq when friends were injured or killed. How did I feel? How would I have liked to have been approached to talk about it? I try to use these points as I speak to the families. Thankfully, most have been very supportive. Some are skeptical, as they should be. How I prove to the person on the other end of the line that I'm not one of THESE PEOPLE? I guess the fact that I've poured a lot of my own money into this endeavour helps, but I can't prove that over the phone.

I know that a lot of you have been waiting a long time for the site to kick off. Almost everything is done actually. The domain is bought and paid for. The hosting is bought and paid for. The code is about 95% complete. Really, the only thing holding up the launch is these phone calls. I'm not sure what I got myself into. There are over 2,600 soldiers that have paid the ultimate sacrifice in Iraq alone. I've spoken with the families of maybe 10 of them. I've written the stories of about three. Being a soldier myself, I know that the cost of freedom is high. Speaking with the families of these fine Americans reminds me of that.

The humility and pride these families have in their sons' and daughters' service motivates me. I hope that we can do them justice.

Again, I apologize for taking so long. I was able to get a lot more done over the weekend, moving us closer than ever. I just need to write up the stories and pass them on to Vince to run through the code and make sure everything is working. Thank you for being so patient.

Posted in Military Perspective

20 Responses to “They Have Names Update”

  1. Miriam says:

    We appreciate your hard work, CJ. I'm sure it will be a great site. Take some time for yourself too, now, ya hear? :)

  2. haystack says:

    if ever there was a noble duty CJ, this is among the short list. I am honored to know you because of the work you are trying to do.

    I was thinking of you when I heard this story about that scumbag Dan Frazier in Arizona selling t-shirts and bumper stickers with the names of the fallen on them to show his protest to the war…"Bush Lied, They Died".

    While he has the right these fallen men have died protecting, it's SICK.

    They Have Names can counter that. I will go to the ends of the earth to help you offset trash like this.

  3. haystack says:

    I posted a comment and it got lost somehow…trying again.

    If ever there was a Noble Duty CJ, this is it.

    I was thinking of you when I saw THIS SCUMBAG in the news…Dan Frazier selling t-shirts in AZ in protest of the war, using the names of the fallen to make money…er, I mean, show his protest…"Bush Lied, They Died".

    While the Soldiers who have fallen protecting his rights to speech, WE have rights too.

    I will go to the ends of the earth helping you offset this human trash and waste.

  4. sue says:

    CJ, behind you all the way. I know it's a labor of love.

  5. Anthony says:

    CJ, I cannot imagine how hard this must be. I'll direct some prayers your way, maybe other readers will do so also, to help give you the strength to do this and the families the trust to open up to you.

  6. antimedia says:

    CJ, I have unlimited long distance service. Give me an idea what information you want and a list of names and numbers, and I'll be honored to assist you in whatever way I can. Send me email.

  7. Michele says:

    CJ,
    Your efforts, your time, and your devotion make such a difference.
    Thank you!!

  8. yankeemom says:

    I have so much heartfelt appreciation for all you are doing, CJ ~ Words fall so very short.
    I'm so glad it's you who are speaking to the families. I'm sure they hear the caring and respect you hold for them.

  9. SK says:

    CJ, I can't even imagine trying to do this. Few people could handle it with grace and compassion, I think you're truly one of the few. Best of luck with the site and those phone calls.

  10. Suellen says:

    Why would they want someone to dredge up memories of a lost loved one? Everyone is different, I know. But if it were my son or daughter I would like to talk about them to someone who really understands. Who's been there and knows what they were fighting for, what they gave their life for. Someone willing to share my pain. There's not many people who are comfortable doing that. Thank God that you are honoring our fallen heroes in this way and aiding the families in their healing at the same time.

  11. Hilary says:

    Cj,

    I cannot help out financially at this time…funds are tight. But I can help you on at least two names. My husband had the pleasure to serve with two men who gave their lives for freedom. I keep in contact with the mom of one of them and she keeps in contact with the mother of the other soldier.

    I just wanted to know if you wanted me to get in contact with her to give her a heads up and her contact information (I have her email address only)? Let me know and I can write something to her so that she knows you are legit and not some guy just trying to "gain" from the death of her son. Let me know.

  12. As a member of the Soldiers' Angels "Living Legends" Team (which sends cards/letters to the families of the Fallen), I can thoroughly, completely, absolutely understand how heart-wrenching your work is, CJ. In February, I did a memorial project for just one Soldier, who was from my hometown… and it effected me very deeply. I can imagine how the feelings must be so greatly multiplied for you, as you do this most important memorial…. Just pace yourself, take breaks when you need to, take care of yourself along the way. I totally understand how you must feel… well, I guess not "completely," since you have the added demension of being a Soldier, and these are your brothers (and sisters) at arms….. I'm merely a civilian bystander, lol.

    Anyway, God bless you — you are doing a great and noble thing. They will NEVER be forgotten, ever.

    Kat

    (PS — speaking of the Fallen Soldier from my hometown… I can get you in touch with his Father if you want… just email me Jeffskat@gmail.com and let me know)

  13. Lauren says:

    CJ,

    Nothing you do ceases to amaze me. Whatever projects you get involved in you become so passionate about.

    Like Kat said pace yourself and when you feel you need a break take one to gather your emotions. I am sure its a hard task to talk to the families of the fallen soldiers but there is no better person in my mind and heart then you.

    By bringing names with the faces of the fallen and their stories reminds us once again We must NEVER forget their sacrifices.

  14. CJ says:

    Hilary, that would be awesome. I honestly don't need money right now. Everything is paid for for the site as far as forseeable costs go. However, I would love for you to contact those two families and let them know I'm interested in speaking with them. Not having to "cold contact" someone would do worlds for my psyche. Feel free to give them my contact information as well.

    I'll make the phone calls, so they don't have to worry about that.

  15. Hilary says:

    Cj – I just got done emailing her. I hope that she responds to it. I would be surprised if she said no. She is an awesome lady and has a love for our men and women in uniform too.

  16. robert stokely says:

    Thank you for taking this project on. As the dad of a fallen warrior, SGT Mike Stokely KIA by IED near Yusufiyah south of Baghdad 16 Aug 05, just know that simple words spoken to the family of a fallen warrior mean so much, especially words of rememberance, for it is the thought of possibly having to remember alone that is my greatest fear. Thank you so much.

    Robert Stokely

  17. Papa Ray says:

    Thanks is not enough, but it's all I have to give. Except that you need to know that the thousands that know of your mission are wishing you well and the continued strength to complete the mission.

    We are there with you, to your left and your right and covering your six.

    Papa Ray
    West Texas
    USA

  18. CJ says:

    Robert, you will never have to remember alone. Many of us feel the pain, though not as personally as we should, of each and every death. Our prayers are with you and I look forward to speaking with you soon. Thank YOU for giving us your son and allowing him to serve his country.

  19. Jess Dawn says:

    I have been off line for a while now. When I was at home with the girls I didn't go online a lot so that I was spending most of my time during the day with the girls. Now that I am back at work I have more time, (weird isn't it) like my lunch hour and right before and after work. I wanted you to know if you have a place for anyone else to help out I would love to.

  20. Neocon says:

    CJ,

    Thank you for what you are doing. That really sounds lame, but no words could express how I feel about this. Thank you and God Bless!

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