Things NOT To Say To A Military Wife
February 20th, 2008 by Admin
Emily sent this to me and noted how much she agrees with these. You've probably seen some version of this.
1. "Aren't you afraid that he'll be killed?"
(This one ranks in at number one on the "duh" list. Of course we're afraid. We're terrified. The thought always lingers at the backs of our minds —but thanks brilliant, you just brought it back to the front. Maybe next you can go ask someone with cancer if they're scared of dying.)
2. "I don't know how you manage. I don't think I could do it."
(This is intended to be a compliment. Though, its just a little annoying. Here's why: it's not like all of us military wives have been
dreaming since childhood of the day we'd get to be anxious single moms who carry cell phones with us to the bathroom and in the shower. We're not made of some mysterious matter that makes us more capable, we just got asked to take on a challenging job. So we rose to the challenge and found the strength to make sacrifices.)
3. "At least he's not in Iraq."
(This is the number one most annoying comment for those whose husbands are in Afghanistan. What do they think is happening in Afghanistan? An international game of golf?
4. "Do you think he'll get to come home for Christmas/anniversary/birthday/birth of a child/wedding/family reunion, etc?"
(Don't you watch the news? No! They don't get to come home for any of these things. Please don't ask again.)
5. "What are you going to do to keep yourself busy while he's gone?"
(Short answer: Try to keep my sanity. Maybe there's a military wife out there who gets bored when her husband leaves. For the rest of us, those with and without children, we find ourselves having to be two people. That keeps us plenty busy. We do get lonely, but we don't get bored, and drinking massive amounts of wine always helps keep me busy.)
6. "How much longer does he have until he can get out?"
(This one is annoying to many of us whether our husbands are deployed or not. Many of our husbands aren't counting down the days until they "can" get out. Many of them keep signing back up again and again because they actually love what they do or they VOLUNTEER AGAIN and AGAIN to go back to Iraq b/c there is work that needs to be done.)
7. "This deployment shouldn't be so bad, now that you're used to it."
(We do learn coping skills. We figure out ways to make life go smoother while the guys are gone. But it never gets "easy" and the bullets and bombs don't skip over our guys just because they've been there before. The worry never goes away.)
8. "My husband had to go to Europe for business once for three weeks. I totally know what you're going through."
(This one is similar to number two. Do not equate your husband's three week trip to London/Omaha/Tokyo/etc. with a 6-15 month or more deployment to a war zone. Aside from the obvious time difference, nobody shot at your husband or tried to blow him up with an I.E.D., your husband could call home pretty much any time he wanted to, and he flew comfortably on a commercial plane. We do not feel bonded to you in the slightest because of this comment and, if anything, we probably resent you a bit for it. Comparing a 12 month combat deployment to a few weeks business trip is like comparing a crappy Hyundai Excel with a Mercedes convertible.)
9. "Wow you must miss him?"
(This one also gets antoher big "duh". Of course we miss our men. There are some wives who do not and they're now divorced.)
10. "Where is he exactly? Where is that?"
(I don't expect non-military folks to be able to find Anbar Province on a map, but they should know by now that it's in Iraq. Likewise, know that Kabul and Kandahar are in Afghanistan. Know that Muqtada al Sadr is the insurgent leader of the Mahdi Army in Iraq and that Sadr City is his home area. Know that Iran is a major threat to our country and that it is located between Afghanistan and Iraq. Our country has been at war in Afghanistan for seven years and at war in Iraq for five years. These basic facts are not secrets, they're on the news every night and in the papers every day —and on maps everywhere.)
11. "Well, he signed up for it, so it's his own fault whatever happens over there.
(Yes, ignorant, he did sign up. Each and every day he protects your right to make stupid comments like that. He didn't sign up and ask to be hit by anything, he signed up to protect his country. Oh, and by the way, he asked me to tell you that "You're welcome." He's still fighting for your freedom.)
12. "Don't you miss sex! I couldn't do it!"
(hmmm, no i don't miss sex. i'm a robot. seriously…military spouses learn quickly that our relationships must be founded on something greater than sex. We learn to appreciate the important things, like simply hearing their voices, seeing their faces, being able to have dinner together every night. And the hard truth is, most relationships probably couldn't withstand 12 months of sex deprivation.)
13. "Well in my opinion….."
(Stop right there. Yo, I didn't ask for you your personal political opinions. Hey, I love a heated political debate, but not in the grocery store, not in Jamba Juice, not at Nordstrom, not in a bar when I'm out with my girls trying to forget the war, and CERTAINLY NOT AT WORK. We tell co-workers about deployments so when we have to spend lunch hours running our asses off doing errands and taking care of the house, dog, and kids, they have an understanding. We do not tell co-workers and colleagues because we are giving an invitation to ramble about politics or because we so eagerly want to hear how much they hate the President, esp. while we're trying to heat up our lean cuisines in the crappy office microwaves.)
Last, but not least….
14. "OH, that's horrible…I'm so sorry!"
(He's doing his job and he's a badass. Don't be sorry. Be appreciative and please take a moment out of your comfortable American lives to realize that our MARINES/soldiers/airmen/coasties/sailors fight the wars abroad so those wars stay abroad.)
If you want to say anything, say thank you. After all, we are sexually deprived for your freedom
Posted in Military Perspective
Not an military wife, and my dad didn't ever have to go to a war zone (German linguist/MI from '64 to '91), but I think this list is great…
What a good reading. Im an Army AD wife and I absolutely hate when people say " I dont know how you do it."
But i just reply back with, because i'm awesome like that.
Ugh! There should be some sort of loop hole that gives military spouses and families a free "pass" to deck these people. Respectfully, of course!
I am continually amazed week after week as I travel through the Atlanta airport and hear some of the ignorant comments and questions people say to our military personnel.
ARGH!
I'm sensing a lot of resentment from the spouse community. Is it really that bad?
YES – It is that bad! The stupidest thing anyone ever said to me was when I was asked why I don't just go visit my husband in Afghanistan. That's right up there with people that find out where my husband is and they say that they thought Obama was going to bring them all home. Iraq is NOT Afghanistan…..duh. YES – the general public is ridiculously ignorant. Visit my husband in Afghanistan……honestly!?!
While there may be a number of the general public who "don't get it", there are more that do. I'm guessing those that don't obviously aren't very educated. I can honestly say that in 25 years of being a military spouse I have never gotten any of those questions/responses. If you are, then you may want to reconsider the company you keep!
It is not necessarily the company that you keep,but the area that you are in. I never got the ignorant comments until I moved back home and it is simply b/c no one arounnd here has any military affiliation and so theyr just do not know any better. I have encountered many ridiculous comments and I have been a military wife for 12 years now.
Hey ladybug thank you and God bless you and your husband for your service to this country. I am a Marine Veteran who did NOT serve in any wars but I am VERY appreciative for all of you who did. I say ALL of you because I know that a solder needs as much prayer and tangible support that they can get.
I salute you all.
Clarence
LT, I don't think it's really that bad, but I've heard some dumb comments too. This is mainly in jest, but let's face it – all jokes are rooted in some form of reality.
People say stupid things all the time. For some reason they issue stupid licenses with a drivers license to some people. God Bless our Military and God Bless those who wait.
For those of us who occasionally run into people with military spouses deployed, can someone give some thought about the best things to say? The only thing I've said, which I don't think came off dumb or stupid or insensitive is to say, "I'll keep him/her in my prayers". I'm one NYC liberal who'd like to show support.
Thanks and God bless our troops!
David
"I'll keep him/her in my prayers" is perfect!
David, I think a simple, "Thank you for your service and please pass along my gratitude to your husband for what he does for this country" wouldn't hurt anyone. Your comment would be fine as well. You're one who understands, that's for sure!!
These are the kind of things that make you stop and think "What was going through your head when you said that?"
OMgosh….too Funny…thanks Emily and CJ for the good chuckles this am!!
I first saw a similar list when my husband left in Feb '07 It made me laugh and cry all at the same time. It's good to know how other people understand what you are going through and that the replies you're saying in your head are not just only in your head – others are thinking them too!
The most ignorant comment I heard was when I was out to lunch with a couple of co-workers and someone asked if I had heard from my hubby recently. Someone else asked, why, where was he (since I hadn't sent out a company-wide memo announcing his deployment.) I told her, and she replied,"Well, I wish MY husband would go away for a year," complaining to the wrong person about how he just sits around or whatever. I was in shock and just said looking her dead in the eye, "No, you don't."
Freakin Awesome!
I put the link on a dutch Military wives page.
and they all love it!
Re: #1
The difference between cancer and being a soldier is one is voluntary.
Here's a question for a military wife:
Why does your husband put the military above you and his family?
its simple cuzz he has no choice. I know my husband would rather go out to dinner with me then go out on the range. or go to his kids sports game then a meeting on base. military is not a job it is a life stile. when they say jump he keeps jumping till hes told to stop. when he has the choice hes always with his family.
Tom,
It'd be nice if you weren't such an easy troll to stomp away.
I have never met anyone in the military that puts his job before his wife and family.
Tom,
To be in the military is to protect his "wife and family", so I don't really see how that question applies.
My husband fights for "Toms" freedom…He is deploying to Iraq on Nov 12, for his second tour over there, I might add. Tom, my friend, tell me, please…honestly, can you say you fought against the people who attacked our country???
Liberal suckers…sorry for you!
So, "Tom" is one of those people we were just about…
They always say the silent ranks is the toughest job in the service. I believe that fully.
Being "just a girlfriend" entitles me to NOTHING, no information or anything…none of his belongings here to keep me less lonely, his mother gets the comfort of his clothes hanging in the closet and his room with all his stuff.
Complitely agree with the last one… I'm a girlfriend (by the way we live in different countries).And it is really incredibly hard..Because you have no any information and even have no right to get this information because you are oficially NOBODY to him….Well, you even don't know when he will return and everything you have is great hope to see him once again and you make life to continiou…
I hope Tome will never feel this….Respectfully to all militaryes and his close ppl
Here are my favorites… "Doesn't he realize how hard it is on you when he's away?" My response was yes, he does but it's harder on him.
"How can he do that to your children?" My response- how can he fight for my childrens right to grow up in a free country? I dont know how can your husband sit at home and let others decide the fate of your childrens nation? (I get nasty looks on that one)
"You let him do this?" Response- Well yeah, both of us would be doing it but we feel that one of us should stay home with the kids since they aren't allowed in combat zones.
Trust me, when the spouses are on deployment, besides the mission, family is always on their minds. Soldiers, Sailors, and Airmen do what they do for their famalies and their country.
I was one that would say some of those things. Now my husband is in basic training and I can begin to understand the reverse side.
Very nice list!!!!!
Soldier Hard
God Bless this country and our ability to have these conversations! I'll welcome my husband home with open arms knowing that he'll go back to the middle east again, but I make the most of the time we have together. The world wouldn't need soldiers if we all lived our lives this way! I pray for our new President everyday that he might find a better, even though I voted for the other guy! Steadfast and Loyal, HOOAH!!!
I am military wife and reading this list made both my husband and I laugh. I have found myself faced with these questions from people and thought to myself these people must be crazy to ask me such things. For you who don't understand, my husband has a job to do and does it very well. And all of his loved ones wait and pray for his save return. Yes it is hard on us but we support him in every way because we know he loves what he does and is honored to protect our and YOUR way of life.
GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALL WHO DEFEND HER!!!!!
Hi,
This is great! And I hear it every week..
I'm from the Netherlands, and our community of militairy wives totally agrees with you! We all put it on our websites and hope it will help NOT to hear this so much..
Keep up! Greets from the Netherlands..!
Tom…if you still read any of these…you should be punched in the mouth! Obviously you dont understand the military at all and obviously no one close to you has served in the military. There are THOUSANDS of soldiers deployed every year to ensure safety and freedom for the United States. My husband is currently deployed and I am also in the Army and did a 15 month deployment previously. Do you think that military members enjoy leaving their families for a year? Do you think they enjoy not seeing their child born, or miss their first word, or the firt time they walk? THEY DONT ENJOY IT AT ALL!!! Do you think they enjoy being in a war zone on Christmas? OF COURSE NOT!!! But sacrafice is something that soldiers do. Instead of talking shit about the soldiers that are defending your freedom to say dumb shit, why dont you try SUPPORTING the troops!
I think there are some great points here, and the humor tops it off. Good for comedy! The one about the golf course and Afghanistan is my favorite.
As one who is not a military wife, but is deeply grateful for the sacrifices military families make day after day, year after year…please accept my apology on behalf of all the stupid people who have made stupid comments such as the ones listed.
I'm not sure if I've ever made a statement like that, but if I did it was out of genuine interest and concern, and certainly not meant to cause frustration, anger, resentment. How about a list of what people SHOULD say to military wives?
THANK YOU for all you do. I know my freedom, and that of my children, is being defended right now by brave men and women in uniform…and the families who support them.
As a military daughter, #3 was the most irksome for me to hear. My dad deployed to Iraq when I was 12, right at the start of the fighting there and he deployed to Afghanistan when I was 16. The best response I found for that was "Well, I don't know. He didn't get his Purple Heart in Iraq. That's from Afghanistan."
Hey!!! This list is just great!! I'm a 'brat'. Dad was in the Army and deployed. No spouse, but I also beleive this is an awesome list. I've even used some of those respones in defensive of some of my married military spouses! Once again list!!!
Canadian military spouses love this list as well. I live in a military community so I don't get alot of those questions or comments but when I go and visit my non military friends, I hear alot of this list. I want sooo much to refer them to this list.
my husband just left for his 1st tour 2 weeks ago, hes in afghanistan and i have had the statement made to me well he signed up for this… and i agree he did sign up for the marines but he didnt sign up to possibly die… my husband is sooo stubborn that he would fight tooth and nail to come home and see me and our son… there are sooo many ignorant arrogant bastards out there that run there mouths like its kewl and they dont know shit… my husband and many others are called baby killers, murderers and rapists and you know the crappy part is these are the people that our men/women are protecting, these are the people that our men/women are dying for and these people can give 2 flying fucks about the freedoms they have…. i really hate half the US population because they are the bleeding hearts and the jerk-offs that think its ok to say the shit they say…. i love and miss my husband alot and im counting down the days till he comes home, and honestly the sooner he gets home the better cuz i know he will keep me from beatin the piss out of some of these people that abuse their freedom
May I add 'What is verboten for a military wife to say to her spouse."
"Well – at least i wasn't over there somewhere killing people!"
Yes, I listened as a military wife spit this out at 'her man'. Yes i wanted to belt her but the pained look on her husband's face did not move her, so a face slap would have had little effect.
An aside – Read Doug Stanton's 'Horse Soldiers'. He writes documented events of just a little of what our wonderful, beautiful men encounter 'over there somewhere'.
This list is great. There are so many people who just don't get it. Find more pet peeves and list of things to say and do to an army wife by clicking the link next to my photo.
yup, that about sums it up. I've only heard a couple of them personally, but I could totally see someone saying every single one of them and then some. I'm sure we could continue adding on to the list for years to come. Another personal favorite….has he killed anyone? Oh I'm so excited you've asked me the question that burns my heart everyday….none of your damn business.
I love this list. I was trying to find something to put of my site and i love this. I'm an army wife, and i hate these questions. i wish people would just relized that we don't like to answer them.
the worst comment I got was actually from someone who used to be in the military. On Veteran's day, he said to me, "Hopefully, your fiance never comes to visit me…. I work in the national cemetery" -
On the positive side, I have been talking to soldiers in airports and other public places and our conversations have been interrupted multiple times by people saying, simply, "Thank you for your service." They would say the same things to spouses if they could.
[...] This post was mentioned on Twitter by ilovemytroops and Mike Francis, ILoveMyTroops Too!. ILoveMyTroops Too! said: RT @OregonianMike: Things NOT to say to a military spouse http://bit.ly/58FIZd [...]
Hello, Soldier Hard back here again! I will post this on my site this is great!!! I am currently on my 3rd deployment in my 6th months, another 6 months i am done! i just wanted to stop by and let ALL THE MILITARY WIVES and GIRL FRIENDS, that i made 3 songs dedicated for all of you, i know what you all go thru and its soooooo hard! no anyone can do it! so i offer you all to download and or listen to
1. The Military Wife
2. THe Military Wife Part 2 (NEW)
3. I Miss You Letter (NEW)
You can listen to these songs and download them FOR FREE at soldierhard.com or myspace.com/soldierhard1
I speak the truth and i tell the world what you women go thru!!!
your friend
Soldier Hard
US ARMY ARMOR CORPS
My dads military and if any one said #8 to me i would straight out punch them in the face.
fer real that would piss me off to no end.
Having read the comments posted I thought about the One who died on the Cross for the freedom of all human beings. He, and, and only He is worthy of praise and adoration for giving His all for humanity. When He died for our freedom, He did not kill any baby, any woman, any man, or destroy and family or government.
Is is to His scepter that I bow and kneel. I never hear of this from most quarters of who claim that they are fighting for our freedoms. When you kill because someone else has killed, you end up perpetuating the same crime. No where, in civility, has it been a requirement for one to take the life of another in order to live. I prefer the Army that I belong to; my weapon of warfare does not include guns, chemical and/or biological warfare; bombs, etc. Love conquers all. My Commander-in-Chief and His followers use the same weapon and it has NEVER failed.
If we were to compare notes, you will find that the men and women who engage in wars of conquest, and material gain, at the expense of tax payers return home (if alive) unable to reintegrate. It is an anomaly to spend time living and acting like an animal and then expect to shift gears to human normalcy.
It is a CHOICE that someone chooses to go and be trained to be a murderer/killer. You can stand up to your respective governments and say no to war.
Support our troops? Of course, we do through the taxes that we pay. We paid for the house, clothing, education, food, automobile, and furnishing in your homes; including the tampons and psychiatric treatment and counseling among other things. We have to live next to you knowing that you are potential time-bombs that can explode any minute.
It is not denigrate – it is to have a balance in a debatable subject. We reap what we sow. If we sow violence, we reap the same and the far-reaching consequences of the choices we make.
To charge another human being with the responsibility of my freedom is ludicrous and no one has that ability. My help comes from above.
Fiona.
Crocodile tears couldn’t be more contrived. The story of our soldiers is tragic. Yet the story of what we’ve done to Iraq is horrific and shameful. We try to act like a humanitarian regarding a relatively small block of humans while ignoring a substantially larger block of humans that has far greater harms being done to them.
I’m looking through the various religious doctrines to see where they state that only Americans deserve compassion and respect.
Chip and Chuck King
Fiona is a New Jersey liberal who doesn't care a thing about our troops. They would rather rail against the troops and their supposed actions in Iraq while keeping silent about the millions killed under the government we deposed. Chip and Chuck King (or "Fiona") are morons.
Fiona,
I think I understand why you chose to make these comments on the site of the "wives" of the military. You are nothing but a bully to the innocent. There is never an excuse for violence, but if a soldier were to punch you in the face, I think you'd deserve it.
Hello Fiona
I read you little religious crusade and government philosopy. I am one of the soldiers you support by paying your taxes. I would like to thank you for the pay raise the soldiers recieved in Jan 2010. I think you have probably just pissed off all these wives this post is about. I love what I am doing for my country. So I guess I love being a murderer and killer. You should be ashamed of you self for posting such bullshit. I would love to be your neighbor. We would get along great. People like you who sit on their ass talking about sacrafic and never sacraficing anything. These are the ones who we are fighting for. Freedom Is Not Free. So keep paying your taxes. LOVE IT OR LEAVE IT.
The FUCINA FAMLIY
Hello respondents,
All human life is sacred be it a Palestinian or and Iraeli; American or Iraqi; Indian Or African. I wonder who gave anyone of the right to decide who should live or die. It is the same inconsistency where we abortion is condoned and subsidized by government (our taxes) – it is embryo profiling. One can choose to kill an unborn child because varied reason(s) e.g. not a girl, when they prefer a boy; not blue eyed when they want green…
To charge another human being with the responsibility for my freedom, liberty, is too much for any individual to bare. The very ones charged with this responsibility need it.
Pissed off? Yes, the truth has never been popular and of course anyone with blood on their hands and/or doorstep will find any plausible excuse for their actions.
I do not mean any disrespect, however, I cannot imagine how one can live with themselves knowing that they are supporting their family and themselves with blood money.
Violence begets violence; and one murder does not justify another murder. Yes, freedom is not free – it has already been purchased for all humanity. Why complain about another government allegedly killing it's people when our very government is doing the same? Are any better, then? It seems to me to be a hypocritical stance.
TY – Chip
Chip, I'll answer your questions.
"I wonder who gave anyone of the right to decide who should live or die." As a Soldier, the right to decide if someone lives or dies is given to my by the person I'm debating whether or not to kill. If a guy aims a weapon at me or my troops or my country, he has just given me the right to kill him. If he doesn't try to kill me, then he's given me the right let him live. It's not that difficult. I would ask who gave the lion or the tiger the right to kill that innocent gazelle? Humanity is no different. It's life and death, kill or be killed.
We disagree. One murder DOES justify the killing of another. If you simply let it happen, that person will just continue killing. By removing the threat, more lives are actually spared. The difference between our government "killing people" and other governments, is that we do it in the name of sparing the innocent civilians. You won't find the United States in ANY country purposely killing innocent people. So, we ARE better. Other countries kill their citizens to retain power and control. We kill to provide freedom and prosperity.
There is nothing hypocritical in that, but I doubt you happy-go-lucky hippies will ever see it that way. You just assume that people will just stop doing bad things if we turn our heads and pretend it's not happening.
Look at the shelves of liquor, packets of cigarettes, etc…known substances that destroy human life; alters the mind/reasoning powers of the user and it causes death; marriage dissolution; domestic violence; deprives our nation of useful labor and longevity of life to mention but a few of the social ills. Yet, our very own government issues licences for the sale and distribution these commodities.
We then set police officers on patrol to keep law and order; respond to domestic violence; drunken driving…and we weigh down our legislative courts with cases that have been licenced by the same government. Is this not an anomaly?
I was doing missionary work in India where every single house erected is "blessed" with an innocent child's life and the its skull is placed at the foundation of the said house. Do we have any idea how many children are being sacrificed daily for such absurd sacrifices…and I do not see our military over there. Why the inconsistency?
None of our military warfare can be used safely anywhere without it spilling over to other borders. So, what we do to other nations, comes back to bite us. So all the ammunition, especially biological and chemical are sitting around dangerously and we live in constant fear. Money that could have been well invested for humanitarian purposes: food, clothing, education, health, shelter etc. But we were caught up in the arms race. Now what?
Chuck
FIONA,
First of all, FUCK YOU. Pardon my French. Secondly, my husband is a United States Marine, but even before that, one of the strongest Christian men you will ever meet. (Although, I hope you never meet him because most likely I will be with him, and I don't know that I could restrain from curbstomping your face.) He fights for GOD first and foremost, then for his family and his country. Without my husband and the rest of the United States military protecting YOUR freedom, you wouldn't be able to practice the "Christian" religion you claim to practice. I use the term "Christian" loosely because a true Christian would not come onto a forum of the suffering (military spouses) and create hateful and hurtful remarks. Maybe you should rethink your own faith instead of questioning that of those who allow you to freely practice your religion.
He is currently serving in Haiti helping the hundreds of thousands who were affected by the tragic earthquake that happened two months ago. Would you care to know what he is doing there? Guarding a MISSIONARY CAMP and handing out food to the hungry. Hmm…can you please explain to me how guarding God's house from thieves and feeding the hungry makes him a murderer/rapist/etc? We were married for three weeks before he was given 24 hours of notice that he was leaving to go. Did I want him to go? No. Did he want to leave his wife in the middle of our honeymoon? No. Did I support him? Absolutely.
Oh, and by the way, if you don't want to stand behind our troops, feel free to go stand in front of them. I'd much rather you be shot than my husband, and I'm sure every other military spouse agrees with me. PLEASE feel free to go take his place. I'd really appreciate it.
Thanks,
A Stronger Person Than You Will Ever Be
FIONA,
First of all, F**K YOU. Pardon my French (although you might be speaking French if it weren't for our military). Secondly, my husband is a United States Marine, but even before that, one of the strongest Christian men you will ever meet. (Although, I hope you never meet him because most likely I will be with him, and I don't know that I could restrain from curbstomping your face.) He fights for GOD first and foremost, then for his family and his country. Without my husband and the rest of the United States military protecting YOUR freedom, you wouldn't be able to practice the "Christian" religion you claim to practice. I use the term "Christian" loosely because a true Christian would not come onto a forum of the suffering (military spouses) and create hateful and hurtful remarks. Maybe you should rethink your own faith instead of questioning that of those who allow you to freely practice your religion.
He is currently serving in Haiti helping the hundreds of thousands who were affected by the tragic earthquake that happened two months ago. Would you care to know what he is doing there? Guarding a MISSIONARY CAMP and handing out food to the hungry. Hmm…can you please explain to me how guarding God's house from thieves and feeding the hungry makes him a murderer/rapist/etc? We were married for three weeks before he was given 24 hours of notice that he was leaving to go. Did I want him to go? No. Did he want to leave his wife in the middle of our honeymoon? No. Did I support him? Absolutely.
Oh, and by the way, if you don't want to stand behind our troops, feel free to go stand in front of them. I'd much rather you be shot than my husband, and I'm sure every other military spouse agrees with me. PLEASE feel free to go take his place. I'd really appreciate it.
Thanks,
A Stronger Person Than You Will Ever Be
Proud Marine Wife,
I am saddened and quite appalled at your choice of language. When you say you don't know that you could restrain from "curbstomping my face" it goes to show the level of violence that is raging in you. Violence is never the answer when all we have been engaging in is a dialogue. Is this how you are trained/raised? Is it possible to have a dialogue without violence?
It seems to me that some people resort to violence to gain what they cannot otherwise receive through reason.
It would behoove us to go back to the beginning and review our history. We came from foreign lands and found the native Americans here. What did we do? Killed them, marginalised them, oppressed them, figured that their mode of worship was not good enough, etc. Violence and shedding of blood coupled with slavery and other inhumane deeds were perpetrated. This land is saturated with bloodshed and many have their hands stained with the blood of our fellow man. Even if it is inherited wealth, if it was gained unlawfully it is is still not right.
Proud Marine Wife, your husband or any other soldier for that matter cannot buy, defend my conscience. It is God given. It is my inalienable right from the Sovereign God of the Universe. Please forgive me if I sound hurtful/hateful…it is not my intent to disrespect or hurt anyone. Truth has never been popular and it always divides. We can agree to disagree in principle without having to resort to violence and unladylike language.
Let me share with you that my uncle serves as a surgeon (saving life) in the military; I have a nephew in the French military (spiritual counsellor); and two other members are flight engineers; None of these members bare arms. It is better known as conscientious objectors. Their loyalty is to God for the preservation of life which they consider sacred. None of them have killed anyone in their tenure in the military. I wish you could hear their testimony each time they have come close to death. Each time enemy combatants have put their weapons down for seeming strange reasons when they faced the. They have attributed it to the protection of angels. Their superiors have not fired them either and they are proud citizens.
So, what makes others so ready to kill/murder? You can answer that question the best way your conscience allows. Our pride, selfishness, arrogance, and covetousness will be our doom. God favored this country immensely and He poured out His heart in America. But we took this for granted and used it to oppress others. We shall reap what we have sown. God is never mocked. We claim to be a Christian nation but behave contrary to Christian principles and values.
I am a sinner, saved by grace through Christ. That is where my strength lies – Not in military power; not in economic stability; and yes, you are stronger than me. I would not dare compare myself to you. I couldn't take your husband's place because I cannot bare arms. I have no intention to kill anyone to support a family. i could not do that to people I love. I am sorry my conscience would torment me for the rest of my life and no medication from the VA would suffice.
Forgive me.
Fiona.
These are things that people say because they don't understand. It isn't to be ignorant.. it's usually your friends asking these questions – it's because they care about you. And sometimes there is nothing else to say but the things on this list.. it is human nature to ask those things.. I get asked all the time.. I just don't understand how people can get so mad about a person who doesn't understand asking questions or saying comments that are normal for curious people to ask..
You can disagree with me but I agree with not a military wife.. and I am one.
And Fiona – This whole world is a war between good and evil you should know that.. There has been war since the beginning and it will end in a battle.. You can hate the war all you want.. but never for a minute look down on those soldiers.. God is with them every step of their journey.
"God is with them every step of the their journey" Yes, including the recording angels so that on the day of judgement, there will be a record that cannot be controverted.
A loving God, as I know Him, does not allow men and women, for whom He has purchased with His precious blood to be treated as beasts; to be trained to be murderers/killers of women, babies, and men; to earn a living to support their families or themselves with blood money.
1. If it were ordained by God that men and women are to go to war and kill each other, is it any wonder that He leaves them to suffer from PTSD and the frills that come with it? That is hardly a divine purpose or will. War is something that we choose and relish for what we gain from it….human carnage and lust for blood.
2. Is anyone in here familiar with the scripture that says, that if God does not keep the city/house the watchman stays up for nothing? It is God who protects and shields. No human being is capable of providing it.
3. How can we go and kill Iraqi women and children and come back to our own and sit around like everything is fine? I have been counseling a vet for 3+ years and he cannot get over the screams of children he blew up in a village – an abandoned village without grown men except for women, the elderly, and children residing there with a couple of domestic animals.
4. How is it that there are those who will not bare arms because of conscience? It means that there are those whose consciences are so seared with evil that they have no qualms to kill/murder; they are not cowards either.
5. Killing because another has killed only makes identical murderers and that is why this world is so full of sorrow and evil. I wonder what we shall say on the judgement day. Or perhaps it will be, "Lord, I killed XYZ for our freedom and liberty". I can almost hear Him respond, I purchased everyone's freedom and liberty and there is no command from Me to you to go and kill others to save anyone.
We can list our laundry of excuses, but it will not hold water in the final audit which is very soon. We will not plead honeymoons, material gain, and weapons proliferation on that day.
He says, "Thou shalt not kill" period. He does not say thou shalt not kill but do so in self-defense; or to liberate; or for conquest. We can always cook up reasons to justify the desires of our evil inclinations.
He was guarding a Missionary Camp. Hmmmm do you suppose your husband is stronger than the angels of God who can smite the enemy with one blow – and I am talking one angel, not even a host of them. Read your scriptures carefully, I am not trying to be fascitious.
I repeat, i cannot imagine how anyone can kill another human being to support their family and bravely say it's OK. It is BLOOD money, and it has never been OK. Maybe we ought to have a chat with the disciple who betrayed Christ for money – blood money.
It would behoove us as Americans to repent and ask God for forgiveness for the evils we have committed against humanity. That goes for the Brits as well…monarchy my foot! I love my life(it is sacred) and the lives of my fellow human beings (I don't want anyone taking their lives).
War does not occur in a vacuum. It is orchestrated by men. Men make weapons of war,not war making weapons. We make them with intentions to use them. Enough already, time to scurry off to seek the lost.
Adieu.
I concur with the quest to preserve life. Life is sacred and should not be taken by anyone but God. He alone is the give and the taker. Our motives are so laced with evil and self that we cannot impartially execute justice.
God said we should love our enemies and pray for those that despitefully use us. That does not leave room for ANY excuse to kill/murder others. Jesus was on earth, physically, for 33.5 years and He never killed or murdered anyone. And He is our example….so, how can you do it?
If you have done it in ignorance, there is still hope to repent and turn your life around. He is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and cleanse us from ALL unrighteousness. That means even the unrighteous act of killing others. However, if you remain stubborn, you will face the consequences.
By the way, you volunteer to kill, no one has compelled you to kill. The government is not our conscience, we must choose to obey God rather than man when it comes to matters of conscience. Unless one has sold their conscience to the enemy of souls, then I rest my case.
Brian.