A Soldier's Perspective

CJ Pure Craziness (A rant)

I feel the need to apologize to everyone for not being around much lately. I haven't been taking a break by any means, just busy with everything else. I am still the host of the You Served podcast and I want to publicly thank both Troy and Marcus for stepping up to the plate the past few weeks while I manage my military obligations. Troy really does a LOT behind the scenes in addition to co-hosting with me on the podcast.

Things have really been crazy. In addition to normal work stuff, I've had to deal with a lot of stupidity lately that has just really had me frustrated. After listening to Mr. Bucha tonight on the You Served podcast for the brief time I was able to dial in, I got to thinking a little. Is my heart still in this military stuff? Or better yet, are the hearts of my peers and leaders still into this military stuff?

Mr. Bucha was told by his father (Troy correct me if I'm wrong, but it was noisy where I was listening) that Mr. Bucha should get out of the military if he can go more than two hours without thinking about his troops. According to his father, every leader in the military should be constantly thinking about their troops. I do, but I question if my higher leadership does often lately.

It seems like my job has become less about taking care of troops directly and more about fighting with my Battalion who I feel is trying to screw them. I won't point any direct fingers because I like these people personally. I just don't think that professionally they have my Soldiers' best interests at heart and I feel like I'm fighting a losing battle.

When I was a young NCO one of my leaders pulled me aside one day and told me I need to learn how to pick my fights. I was arguing about a small issues where my team was getting hosed. He told me that I should concentrate on the big fights and just suck up the smaller ones. The problem I have always had with that philosophy goes along the lines of how I'm sure God feels about sin. Whether it's a small sin or a large sin, it's still a sin. It's still wrong. So whether my troops are getting screwed a little or a lot, they're still getting screwed. I don't pick my battles by judging if they are big or small; I pick my battles by judging if they are right or wrong.

I feel like the senior leadership, especially the NCO leadership, is more self-absorbed than they are focused on how to HELP my company. I have had to FIGHT with my leadership to keep Soldiers who are PCSing and have legitimate family concerns. Granted that not all cases are extreme, but regardless of what the issue is, the impression I get is that they don't care. Instead of HELPING me keep these great NCOs, they force me over analyze whether they really need to stay or if they're just trying to get out of an assignment. There is no benefit of the doubt because these people do not know my Soldiers personally like I know my Soldiers.

When I send up NCOERs or award recommendations, the immediate reaction is that all the data is false or exaggerated. There is a very vocal feeling that my Soldiers "don't really do much anyway" so they don't deserve anything. Hell, I've been told directly that MY job isn't that hard. For those of you out there that are/were First Sergeants in a regular line company you know how difficult the life of a First Sergeant can be. Now add the frustration of never seeing 90% of your company on a daily basis! Imagine trying to keep track of Soldiers and training and family needs from hundreds miles away at more than 15 locations across the United States!

I know this sounds like a bunch of whiny-ass complaining, but I really take my position and responsibilities seriously. These Soldiers are the ONLY reason I wanted to become a First Sergeant. It wasn't for fame. It wasn't for power. It wasn't for promotion potential (though there is a small element to the decision, just not a deciding factor). Hell, I do twice as much work as I did as a Master Sergeant and don't get paid any more for it!!

So, let me tie all this together for those in my chain of command and NCO support channel that may be reading this right now. If you don't care about the troops; if your heart isn't in it anymore; if the only thing you are good for is telling me what I CAN'T do instead of how I CAN do it – just leave the Army. Don't worry about not being able to finish your degree, you'll still have the new and improved G.I. Bill. We don't want or need people like you in it. If you're more senior than I am, you're eligible for retirement anyway. Just move out so fresh people who still care about the military, its Soldiers, and the mission can move up. Because you're starting to make me wonder if I want to stick it out and put up with it all. I'm sacrificing a lot of much-needed family time to put up with this shit and I'm starting to crack myself! You're ruining a good experience for my troops!! (yes, I said a bad word and I'm sure I'll feel bad for it later and edit my post. If there are typos, please let me know. I just needed to get this out as quickly as possible.)